Bad Days Happen

We all have them. Bad days. The overwhelming sense of how to get through the day without one more thing going wrong. Imagine having a bad day yourself when caring for someone with dementia who is having an even worse day.

Some of the greatest challenges of caring for a loved one with dementia are the personality and behavior changes that often occur. You can best meet these challenges by using creativity, flexibility, patience and compassion. It also helps to not take things personally and maintain your sense of humor.
To start, consider these ground rules:
We cannot change the person. The person you are caring for has a brain
disorder that shapes who he has become. When you try to control or change
his behavior, you’ll most likely be unsuccessful or be met with resistance. It’s
important to:
Try to accommodate the behavior, not control the behavior. For example, if
the person insists on sleeping on the floor, place a mattress on the floor to
make him more comfortable.
Remember that we can change our behavior or the physical
environment. Changing our own behavior will often result in a change in
our loved one’s behavior.
Check with the doctor first. Behavioral problems may have an underlying
medical reason: perhaps the person is in pain or experiencing an adverse side
effect from medications. In some cases, incontinence or hallucinations, there may be some medication or treatment that can assist in managing the problem.
Behavior has a purpose. People with dementia typically cannot tell us what
they want or need. They might do something, like take all the clothes out of the
closet on a daily basis, and we wonder why. It is very likely that the person is
fulfilling a need to be busy and productive. Always consider what need the
person might be trying to meet with their behavior—and, when possible, try to
accommodate them.
Behavior is triggered. It is important to understand that all behavior is
triggered—it occurs for a reason. It might be something a person did or said
that triggered a behavior or it could be a change in the physical environment.
The root to changing behavior is disrupting the patterns that we create. Try a
different approach, or try a different consequence.
What works today, may not tomorrow. The multiple factors that influence
troubling behaviors and the natural progression of the disease process means
that solutions that are effective today may need to be modified tomorrow—or
may no longer work at all. The key to managing difficult behaviors is being
creative and flexible in your strategies to address a given issue.
Get support from others. You are not alone—there are many others caring
for someone with dementia.to find support groups, organizations, and services that can help
you. Expect that, like the loved one you are caring for, you will have good days
and bad days.

The following is an overview of the most common dementia­ associated
behaviors with suggestions that may be useful in handling them. You’ll find
additional resources listed at the end of this fact sheet.

Wandering
People with dementia walk seemingly aimlessly, for a variety of reasons, such
as boredom, medication side effects or to look for “something” or someone.
They also may be trying to fulfill a physical need—thirst, hunger, a need to use8/24/2016 Caregiver’s Guide to Understanding Dementia Behaviors
https://www.caregiver.org/print/17 5/14
the toilet or exercise. Discovering the triggers for wandering are not always
easy, but they can provide insights to dealing with the behavior.
Make time for regular exercise to minimize restlessness.
Consider installing new locks that require a key. Position locks high or low
on the door; many people with dementia will not think to look beyond eye

level. Keep in mind fire and safety concerns for all family members; the
lock(s) must be accessible to others and not take more than a few
seconds to open.
Try a barrier like a curtain or colored streamer to mask the door. A “stop”
sign or “do not enter” sign also may help.
Place a black mat or paint a black space on your front porch; this may
appear to be an impassable hole to the person with dementia.
Add “child-­safe” plastic covers to doorknobs.
Consider installing a home security system or monitoring system designed
to keep watch over someone with dementia. Also available are new digital
devices that can be worn like a watch or clipped on a belt that use global
positioning systems (GPS) or other technology to track a person’s
whereabouts or locate him if he wanders off..
Put away essential items such as the confused person’s coat, purse or
glasses. Some individuals will not go out without certain articles.
Have your relative wear an ID bracelet and sew ID labels in their clothes.
Always have a current photo available should you need to report your
loved one missing. Consider leaving a copy on file at the police
department or registering the person with the Alzheimer’s Association

Safe Return program or other emergency tracking service.
Tell neighbors about your relative’s wandering behavior and make sure
they have your phone number.

There will always be bad days, but maybe, just maybe,we can have more good then bad……

High Top Table

Making matters worse, as we age, we begin to lose our friends to death, a very natural process of living, which sends us into a more secluded world.  Then it happens. Loneliness. Just you and the TV.  It grows more comfortable every single day.  Our brains are not stimulated with conversation, our thought processes slow down(what’s there to think about really?) and there we sit. Alone. Isolated by circumstance and choice.  We grow lonely.   Being lonely has proven to have consequences…….

I think we have all felt lonely at some point in our lives, regardless of who is around us at any given time. As we all age, I think that feeling becomes a greater force in our lives, causing us to go into hibernation and seclusion, just because we are more comfortable there.  Oh how we all loved the days of our younger years- Friday night -all-night parties, late night movies and dinner with friends, social gatherings on a Saturday afternoon, cookouts after church on Sundays…. the list goes on. What happened to those events as we all aged? Did we all lose the desire and drive to muster up the energy to continue the traditions?  Did the recliner seem more comfortable than the pool hall high top table?

People who feel lonely are much more likely than those who do not to develop dementia in old age, according to new research suggesting that loneliness is a risk factor for the condition.

Those who suffer from loneliness have a 64% greater risk of dementia, according to a Dutch study that appears in the Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery and Psychiatry. But the authors stress that the risk depends on having those feelings and not simply the fact that someone lives alone or is socially isolated.

“Individuals with feelings of loneliness remained 1.64 times more likely to develop clinical dementia than persons who did not feel lonely. In contrast, objective aspects of social isolation no longer showed such an association,” concluded the authors of the Amsterdam Study of the Elderly (Amstel), led by Dr Tjalling Jan Holwerda from VU University Medical Centre in Amsterdam.

“These results suggest that feelings of loneliness independently contribute to the risk of dementia in later life. Interestingly, the fact that ‘feeling lonely’ rather than ‘being alone’ was associated with dementia onset suggests that it is not the objective situation but, rather, the perceived absence of social attachments that increases the risk of cognitive decline,” the authors say.

They studied risk factors for depression, dementia and high death rates among 2,173 Dutch people aged 65 or over who did not have dementia, then examined their health again three years later.

“We hypothesize that feelings of loneliness may … be considered a manifestation of the deteriorating social skills that are seen as part of the personality change accompanying the process of dementia,” they conclude. Feeling lonely can be considered “a major risk factor” for dementia, regardless of whether someone has vascular disease or depression, they add.

But British experts in Alzheimer’s reacted cautiously to the study. Dr. Simon Ridley, head of research at Alzheimer’s Research UK, said someone’s age was still the biggest factor in the development of dementia. “But this study links feelings of loneliness to a slightly higher risk of the condition. While such a finding could have important consequences for society, it is hard to determine cause and effect at this stage. Feelings of loneliness could be a consequence of the early stages of dementia rather than a contributing factor.”

There is a big difference in being alone and being lonely. I don’t know the answer to how we can avoid what we feel, but I think I will go out Friday night and sit at a high top table!