Today I was talking to a friend I had not seen in a while. As soon as I expressed my delight in seeing him, he explained how things were not going so well for him.
” Well since I last talked to you, both of my parents passed away 24 days apart. Mom of pneumonia and dad of dementia.”
I offered my sympathy to him and he continued….. ” well that’s not the worst part.”
Worst part?? How could losing both of your parents so suddenly NOT be the worst part?????? I though to myself.
“Susan, Matthew and I are at major odds over things. Susan is determined to get dad’s Volvo but Matthew says he knows dad would have wanted him to have it. Get this part Jessi, Steve wants mom’s jewelry. He says his wife can wear most of her stuff. Don’t you think that we should sell the jewelry and split it three ways? How fair is it for Susan to get the car and for him to get the gold. What does that leave me with? The couch?”
I was speechless. I was concerned for the family, after suffering such a huge loss of not one, but both of their parents…… Thinking that maybe the loss had occurred months ago, I asked, ” When did you parent pass away?”
“Eight days ago.”
Again, I stood speechless. Eight days and these adult children are fighting over their parents belongings. Wow.
It’s certainly not my place to judge, but wow. Maybe I am the odd ball with my thought processes, but after my parents passed away, their few possessions were the least of my worries. I mourned them for weeks if not even months! But hey, to each their own.
I do see this type of behavior often in my line of work. When a hospice patient is nearing the end, I see relatives; fourth cousin on mother’s side by marriage,twice removed, coming out of the woodwork! I see sons, daughters, grandchildren and extended but yet related by blood, lining up at bedside, expressing their love and devotion to the dying patient. I always wonder where they were when the patient was functional, yet ill?
It is not my place to question anyone’s motives, but it sure looks fishy to me.
You know, death is a final act, a one man, stand alone process. Dying is something that we all hope to do with dignity, grace and peace…….I would like to think that at my time of death, someone will say……”The worst part is…..she is gone………”