Different Time, Different Place

Growing up in the south as the Pastor’s daughter, taught me the very core values that carry me through life every single day. Often times, I wonder how other adults were raised and how they have survived for as long as they have, based on the way they treat other people…..Follow me here…
The other day, a resident’s daughter came into the facility to visit her mother, Ms. Emma. Now, Ms. Emma has stage 4 dementia…..her responses are limited to whatever is on the tip of her tongue at that given moment, not necessarily the appropriate response. The daughter yells at her mother, demanding she “stop talking like she is a lunatic and just shut up and listen”. Can you imagine speaking to your parent like that??
Mr. Wilde’s son comes into my office weekly, asking me how much “longer” I think his father “will live” because his fathers’ “funds are running low and he can’t outlive his money.” Can you imagine wishing your father would hurry up and die so you aren’t stressed about finances??
Listen, I know the disease process is not user friendly. I understand that watching a loved one decline daily is extremely emotional for the family. But I do think respect, understanding, empathy and compassion are in order regardless of the ability, inability, disease process or emotional spiral of an individual.
It is certainly not my place to judge anyone for their interactions with their parent or loved one. I am merely venting about how different times are now, than they were when I was a child. I was taught to say “yes ma’am, yes sir, please and thank you”.I was expected to greet adults with a kind smile as I addressed them as ” Mr. or Mrs, followed by, “how do you do?” I was taught to hold the door open for anyone coming in behind me. I was expected to get up from my seat, and offer it to anyone older than myself….. I was raised to respect my elders and to “honor my mother and father”.
Maybe times have changed and I just haven’t caught up with the times……Maybe I am a product of a different time, different place.

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