Ok, I have a question. Why do sports announcers whisper during a bowling match? I was watching a televised match ( is it called a match?) and I kept readjusting the volume. Each time the announcer spoke, I increased the volume to hear their soft whisper…then BAM, I would decrease the volume as the clattering pins fell. Whisper… CLUNK…whisper ….BANG….hmmm. I found that I lost an entire pound of weight while watching due to the aerobic workout go pressing ” up”, “down”, “up”….”down”. I need to notify Richard Simmons of my new-found aerobics!
I have a similar situation going on at work. Mrs. Glade has three daughters, Debbie, Emily and Jenny, all of which have their own unique views on the care of their mother. Debbie wants her mother in a private room. Emily wants her mother in a semi private room. Jenny does not care. Emily wants her mother on a mechanical soft diet. Debbie wants her on purée. Jenny does not care. Emily insist that her mother be taken to every activity, bingo, Bible study etc.. Debbie says to lay her mother down after meals so she can rest. Jenny does not care either way. Emily wants her mother to have a bra on every single day. Debbie wants her mother to have an undershirt that she feels is more comfortable. Jenny does not care either way. Debbie wants her mother to have on long socks every day, not just bedroom shoes. Emily wants her to just have on bedroom slippers because she feels the socks are constricting. Jenny does not care either way. Debbie wants us to take her mother off of Namenda and Aricept ( Alzheimer’s drugs), Emily wants her mother to remain on them. Jenny? She doesn’t care one way or the other….
We as a facility have a very hard time getting it right with tis family. I have counseled them, explained to them how we can only follow one directive at a time and asked for a copy of the Power of Attorney. Can you believe that all three daughters have their own copy of the directive, signed and dated within a day of one another. The most recent POA is signed by ……would you believe, JENNY. This makes matters even more confusing for us….
I decided to involve an outside agency, Adult Protective Services, (APS) hoping their intervention would clarify who was in charge and determine exactly who we should be listening to…..APS came in, met with the three daughters and decided there was really no intervention was needed from their agency since Mrs. Glade was being cared for. The APS person said it a “civil matter that the court needed to work out.” Just great.
Mrs. Glade is not able to tell us whether she wants socks, a bra, or a purée diet. She whispers softly as she speaks, the effects of a past stroke that has greatly impaired her speech and cognitive skills. We are left again with the two battling and the one indifferent sisters to direct her care. So complicated. It is equivalent to my constant volume changing …..socks on, socks off….bra on, bra off…..hmmmm.
I suggested that three appeal to the courts for sole guardianship which they each explained to how they could not afford such an expense. Now what?
I am thinking the best way to handle this is to set the volume in the middle….if we put the bra on, we leave the socks off…if we take Mrs. Glade to bingo, we will lay her down during Bible Study…..kinda like a compromise. It’s the only way I know to please the daughters….