During the course of my 25 years in long term health care, I have encountered some very….umm…”unique” individuals seeking employment. Fashion and the latest trendy styles are not my thing, but why do I need to see your boxers or your cleavage or any other body part for that matter, when you come in to apply? Whatever happened to dressing nicely for a potential employer with hopes of leaving a good impression? Maybe I am being too old fashioned. Times have certainly changed.
When I was seeking employment, “back in the day”, I dressed modestly, spoke as if I had been raised with manners, using the words “sir, maa’m, please and thank you.” Never would I phone the employer and say “you going to hire me or what? I got to get on with my plans if you ain’t.” That potential applicant just lost all their potential with that phone call. Furthermore, I would never call an employer and ask them on the phone to repeat what the name of the business was and ask if I filled out and application already. If you don’t know where you are calling, don’t call.
I wold love to post the following thoughts outside of my door for all potential applicants to read before taking an application and wasting ink.
1. Wear clothes to your interview. Halter tops,daisy dukes and flip flops are not considered clothing.
2. Cover your personal body parts. Your breast size is not important to long term care employment.
3.Wear your clothing the way it is designed to be worn. Your pants should cover your undergarments.
4.Do not list your parole officer as a reference.
5. Do not list “Dept of Corrections” as a previous employer. Making highway signs while in prison does not constitute employment.
6. Speak a language I understand. I speak English.
7. No, we do not have a full time translator on staff.
8. Do not ask me to define criminal background. Yes, we run everyone through the data base.
9. Do not ask me if “not being the robber, but driving the get-away car is a “criminal thing”.
10. Do not start a sentence with “See what happened was”.
11.Do not ask me how often we perform drug tests and what we screen for.
12. Do not ask me to explain to you what the job you are applying for means. If you do not understand the job title, you are not qualified to do the job.
13. Write clearly. I do not read squiggly lines.
14. Do not list “‘unemployed” as a former occupation.
15.Do not write “I like animals” as a reason for wanting to join our team.
16.Know your name. Asking me what you should write as ” Name” should be self explanatory.
17. Do not ask me to call you “BOO”. Boo is not a name.
18. Do not call me “Boo.” See number 17.
19. Do not ask me if we are on the bus line. You should know how you arrived.
20. Know where you live.
21. Do not ask me if getting to work on time is “like important all the time, because you know, I got things to do too”.
22. Do not ask me to calculate which pay is better for you, “unemployment pay or like this job”.
23. Know the people you list as references. Make sure they know you.
24.Do not ask me who works here. Telling me all about “baby’s daddy is Boo’s brother” does not matter to your application.
25. Do not ask me if I can “run you home after the interview because your ride left you.” See number 19.